Has someone ever told you “Don’t get your hopes up”?
Perhaps it was a parent, a teacher or a friend. You were likely super excited about something that may possibly happen and someone dropped that little gem of a phrase on you.
I’m not suggesting they said it with malice. They just likely wanted to protect you from the possible emotional consequences of that thing not happening. Lessen the blow.
But, is that ok?
Is it better to hope for the best? Or to constantly temper your excitement in the case that things might go awry?
I believe the former.
Though I grew up in the school of “Don’t get your hopes up”, I know that even if you try not to get your ‘hopes up’, you inevitably will –and to top it off, you are already in a darker emotional place from trying not to… so if the thing you are hoping for doesn’t come to fruition, you are really down. And if it does, you feel guilty for doubting yourself. It’s a mess.
A great personal example relates to dating. I've had no success with dating lately. None. So for the past while, I'd go into dates with the attitude of "I don't care, no big deal", as a way to put up armour from being vulnerable or excited at the opportunity.
Now, I'm saying *#($ that.
If I've got a date that I'm excited about coming up, gosh darnit I am going to get excited.
If it's amazing, let it be so. If it sucks, I'll let it go.
Getting your hopes up is OK. It’s not shameful to want something.
To be excited at possibility. To be giddy over the ‘what if’.
And it’s definitely not embarrassing if that thing you wanted didn’t happen or turn okay. You gave it a go. You tried which is one of the bravest acts a human can do.
So, next time you’re excited at possibility and the “Don’t get your hopes up” enters your consciousness…. Shoo it away.
Tell yourself GET YOUR HOPES UP. Anything is possible and you deserve happiness.
What are you hopeful for? Do you have someone in your life cheering you on? Or telling you "Don't get your hopes up"? Leave a comment below!
Filled with hope,
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